Cats eat mice, don't ya know?

Into the Belly of the Beast


FanFic: Animal Crackers (Supernatural)
kisses
abifrey10

Title: Animal Crackers
Author: abifrey10
Rating: PG
Genre and/or Pairing: crack/humor, Dean/Cas
Spoilers: What spoilers? I don’t see no spoilers.
Disclaimer: The boys belong to CW and affiliates, not me….I can’t help if they up and invade my dreams though.
Warnings: mpreg
Word Count: 389 (drabble)
Summary: Dean hates animal crackers, and you will never see him eat them…ever.

A/N: This is what happens when I watch a Supernatural marathon before taking a nap. Sans the animal crackers, I have no idea where that came from.
P.S. This is my very first Supernatural fic, I have many more ideas, but this has been sitting on my external hard drive for weeks now and it begged to be posted tonight. (but not my first fic ever written/published online).

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Dean hates animal crackers, he hates their shapes, he hates their name…he hates everything about them. Hell, they aren’t even technically a damn cracker for fuck’s sake. Crackers aren’t meant to be sweet. He would like to punch the individual who came up with the name. And why in the hell are they shaped like circus animals anyway?

This is the reason you will never see Dean freaking Winchester eating the damned things.

Or so one thinks….

Bring in one supernatural being, a late night of besotted drunken sex and a game, which said supernatural being decides to turn Dean into a girl for about an hour. Aforementioned supernatural being’s excuse? “Experience the female’s version for once, see how they feel and what they experience during copulation.” What happens when girls have sex? You got it!

This is where Sam comes in; little huge brother Sammy. He thinks the entire fiasco is hilarious. That is, until he gets the gravity of the situation when he catches big brother eating the one thing he swore he would never eat in his freaking life.

He walks in the kitchen to find Dean with his head stuck in the freezer, grunting and growling like a rabid bear on a sugar high.

Sam: “What are you doing?”

Dean: “Looking for some ice cream.”

Sam: (a look of slight concern, perhaps his brother has lost his mind because Dean sort of looks like a rabid animal frantically searching the freezer) “Whhyyyy?”

Dean (turning around with a look of defeated terror in his features): “To go with these.” *waving around an animal cracker and takes a bite*

Sam looks a bit taken aback.

Dean: (frantically) “I don’t know why I keep eating them, I can’t stop…and I don’t even like them!” (Waving his hands erratically at the box on the table)

Sam (deadpanning and pointing): “Looks like they need a podiatrist.”

Dean: “What?” (With that look only Dean can give when he says ‘what’ and thinks someone has lost THEIR mind)

Sam: “You’re just eating their feet.” (Pointing again to the animal crackers that are lined up on the table)

Dean flops down in a chair, looking abjectly at the lined up crackers and stands one on up the table, then folds his arms over his extending belly.

Dean: CAS!

Nap time dreams are strange


Crossovers: What they mean to me
yin/yang
abifrey10
When someone posts a crossover fic, I believe it should be a true crossover of two shows that do not have a link (directly related to one another). For example, in my opinion, these shows are not true crossover fic material: Doctor Who/Torchwood; Stargate SG-1/Atlantis/Universe; Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel (shudders to even mention, although I do admit a guilty pleasure of Angel, but not Buffy); any CSI or NCIS show, etc. Why? Because many of these shows are spin-offs of another, so they naturally cross into each other because at least one character from one show is now placed in another or they use the same premise. Take Doctor Who and Torchwood for example; Torchwood would have never been created if it weren't for Captain Jack Harkness showing up in the last 3 or 4 episodes of Doctor Who (Eccleston era). Same goes with Stargate Atlantis and Universe. This is why I get so frustrated when looking for a true crossover (for example, Supernatural and Doctor Who or Supernatural and Torchwood) and I end up getting spin-off combo fics instead. Yes, I do have a rather oddly wired brain.

Just some random funny shite
kisses
abifrey10
When I die, friends will go to my funeral, good friends will cry at my funeral, but my best friend will change my Facebook status to "Chilin' with Jesus."

OK, I'm going to admit it. It's been bugging me for about 10 years now and I need to get it off my chest....I let the dogs out.

Blonde says to her friends: "I finally got Brad to ask me out."
Friends: "How did you do that?"
Blonde: "You know... just like the way you guys do it."
Friends: "So when is the date?"
Blonde: "30th February that's the only day he could make it; I'm so excited!"

I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. I don't want to cause any arguments but... shouldn't that be an even number?

Bwahahahahahaha.....I've lost my freaking mind!!!!!!!!!!

Writer's Block: Apocalypse now?
yin/yang
abifrey10
It's the beginning of the end, according to Harold Camping. How will you spend what could be your last day on Earth?

Let's see...doing laundry (even if the world as we know it ends, still need clean clothes)....feeding the chickens (they still need food and water, no matter what)...scooping poop from the kitty litter trays (the "kids" need clean toilets)...sending email (some things had to be addressed and answered, the questions weren't just going to magically diasppear)....watch a bit TV (I am still paying for it and the shows haven't stopped)...in a nutshell: do what I normally do.

WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY...
what
abifrey10

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses... the results were pretty interesting. 30% of women think their ass is too fat. 10% of women think their ass is too skinny. The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man and they wouldn't trade him for the world..

Looking for God?
yin/yang
abifrey10
Try New Mexico, I hear he's on a tortilla......

They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-haaa!
yin/yang
abifrey10
Remember when you ran away
And I got on my knees
And begged you not to leave
Because I'd go berserk?
Well. . .

You left me anyhow
And then the days got worse and worse
And now you see I've gone
Completely out of my mind
And. . .

They're coming to take me away, HA HA
They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!

You thought it was a joke
And so you laughed
You laughed when I had said
That losing you would make me flip my lid
Right. . .

You know you laughed, I heard you laugh
You laughed, you laughed and laughed
And then you left
But now you know I'm utterly mad!
And. . .

They're coming to take me away, HA HA
They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the happy home
With trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!

I cooked your food
I cleaned your house
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind, unselfish loving deeds?!!
Hah. . .

Well you just wait
They'll find you yet
And when they do they'll
Put you in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt!
And. . .

They're coming to take me away, HA HA
They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!

To the happy home
With trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!

To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!

 



SPN S6 EP15 SPOLIERS "Review"
yin/yang
abifrey10
Here are a few "things" that made me go *face palm*, *jaw drop*, *LOL*:

1) I can't believe they slit Misha's throat in that so called "AU"! Ack!

2) The angels (Cas and Bal) used the boys as a diversion for Raphael???? Poor guys.

3) Does Jared really have an alpaca in his backyard???!!!

4) Does Jensen really have a giant fish tank in his trailer??

5) Is Jared's walls in his house really filled with giant self portraits??? That one behind Sam with Jared on the horse and wearing the giant stetson was hilarious!

Writer's Block: The kindness of strangers
what
abifrey10
If someone insults you when you're walking down the street, what do you do?

Walk away, they aren't worth my time or energy to acknowledge. I mean, really, I have better things to do than to give the individual the satisfaction that they upset me--they will eventually have it turned against them.

Literary License
yin/yang
abifrey10
I have fallen. I don’t know if you would call it a pit of despair? But I look up…and all I see is darkness surrounding me, the feeling of it crushing my very soul, seeping into my very bones. How do I pull myself out of this pathetic pit? I have no light, I have no rope…all I have is this dirt crumbling in around me, clogging my nostrils and cutting my lungs. I can’t breathe. I want to run, but am frozen in place by some unforeseen fear, or perhaps my feet are cemented in the ground. The walls start crumbling in around me, dirt filling my lungs with each sharp gasp as I try to scream for help. I am alone in this pit; no help will come.

I wake. I see light surrounding me, but the feeling of darkness has not left me. I reach up and I notice I have been crying in my sleep. Was I dreaming; was I really sleeping? I don’t feel like I have been asleep, I don’t feel like I have slept for days. Where am I? My chest tightens, I am afraid. This doesn’t seem real, it doesn’t feel real. What is real anymore?

?

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